Wisdom From the Love Guru

  • Posted on: 31 January 2010
  • By: mokshalom

The Love Guru (brought to us by Mike Myers) is either one of those love it or hate it films...but I thought it was pretty funny despite an over-reliance on penis jokes. Maybe you need to have lived in Southern California and joined the new age community to get it.

What made this film for me was the spot on parody of the yoga gurus who cropped up in America in the 1960s. The first part of the film really hits the satire hard, starting with a sea of starry-eyed followers at the Love Guru's ashram. Everyone greets each other with "Mariska Hargitay," which, despite being the name of an actress, actually does sound like some sort of funny Sanskrit mantra.

At the ashram, "Guru Pitka" (the Love Guru) gives a hilarious yogic talk complete with silly acronyms and words turned into other words. For example:

Intimacy = "Into-me-I-see"

Groan! And yet, so true! If you think this is over the top, I've actually sat in yoga class and heard this sort of thing before...the most popular one being:

ASSUME = "Making an ASS out of U and ME"

No, that's not from the Love Guru. It's been circulating in the self-help world for years. Yogi Bhajan, the guru of kundalini yoga, was a pro at coming up with this stuff. (And I love kundalini yoga, which is partly why I just love this parody.)

So I truly enjoyed the "lecture" as Guru Pitka regales us with a blizzard of cutesy mnemonics, such as:

GURU = "Gee You Are You"


Bible = "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth"

(Of course, each needs a "TM" after it.)

My favorite were these wise words:

You have to go from




Eckhart Tolle would be proud. I think I'm actually going to post this up next to my computer somewhere. It's a good reminder.

In one scene Guru Pitka is speaking to Jessica Alba's character. Everything he says is some sort of vague feel good comment, backed up with a book he had just happened to write on the subject, such as:

If It Hurts When You Do That, Stop Doing That

and one of my faves:

Stop Hitting Yourself.
Stop Hitting Yourself.
Why Are You Still Hitting Yourself?

OK. That's damn silly. But it does have a point. Think about it. Why are you still hitting yourself (i.e., beating yourself up over the past)? Hmmm....

The funny thing is, I don't think Mike Myers meant to come up with anything truly profound...but it seems there's a fine line between profound and silly. Which perhaps in and of itself, might actually be quite profound!

Hmmm again!

Finally, the central acronym used as the five-step process to heal the gurus followers was:

DRAMA = Distraction, Regression, Adjustment, Maturity, and Action

However, if I were going to create an acronym from the word drama, it would be:

Don't Rage at Morons, Asshole

Because if you do, you'll get...DRAMA! So why not instead go for:

PEACE = Putting Evil Assholes in Cerebral Exile

I.e., put that crap out of your mind! Right?

This reminds me of an acronym I came up with years ago on this very blog to poke fun of all the clutter-clearing acronyms used by organizers. It's worth being dusted off, and it goes like this:

SHIT = Stop Hoarding Irrelevant Things

Now you'll remember that the next time you are tempted to keep your old toothbrush around "just in case" you need it as a cleaning tool for a project you'll never get to.

See how fun this is? What acronyms does Guru Pitka inspire in you? And you thought the Love Guru sucked, when in fact, he's a new visionary for a new new age.

Enjoy the silly. Life's too short to miss the comedy.

You can find more Love Guru gems here.


Mike Meyers is great ... and so are YOUR acronyms.

I especially like the SHIT one!

Hugs, LL

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I enjoyed this movie, I was sad when Mike said that there won't be any part 2 coming out. I watched it with my friends and they all hated it. But not me :)

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